Hinatas' Gone Wild
by melody-berry2
Summary: Hinata finally decides enough is enough. More Humor than romance. R&R. It's most likely the funniest NaruHina fanfic ever! Was T now M.
1. Tothbrush changes

**Chapter 1**  
One morning, while Hinata was brushing her teeth, she decided that enough was enough. She was tired of being the nice little girl who everyone pushed around. No, today, she was going to be a different person. She was going to change, just like Naruto-kun had done. She was not going to be a wimp. She was going to be a winner!

Her father yelled from downstairs, "Hinata! Did you clean up your room?"

"Y-y-yes, I did!"

"You better have, you useless weakling!"

Hinata did not reply, as a vein throbbed inside her forehead. 'Fuck this,' she said to herself, as her eyes strayed over to her father's toothbrush, which was sitting before her on the sink. She then giggled evilly as she picked up her dad's toothbrush and swished it around inside the toilet bowl. "Hee hee hee! I'm so naughty! Hope your breath is minty fresh, pops! Hee hee hee!"

"Hey Hinata!" Her little bratty sister, Hanabi, was at the bathroom door. "What are you doing!"

"I-I-I'm cleaning dad's toothbrush," Hinata replied in her quavering voice. "Wh-wh-what does it look like I'm doing, you stupid b-b-bitch!"

Hanabi gasped at her older sister's bad language. "Oh my god, you swore! And you're doing something bad to dad's toothbrush! I'm telling on you!"

"Toilet water tastes good though. Honest!"

"It does?"

"Yes, it does!" Hinata then grabbed her sister and dunked her head into the bowl. "See! It tastes good, doesn't it!"

Her little sister gurgled, "Glaargh!"

Hinata let her sister struggle for a couple moments, then she pulled her out of the bowl. "So, you gonna tell pops or not?"

The terrified Hanabi shook her head. "No! I won't tell, I promise!"

"Better not. Bitch." Hinata dropped her sister. "Tell dad that I'm going out to train with my teammates."

As Hinata walked out of her house, she noticed that cranky cousin of hers, Neji, sitting off to the side. She called out, "Hi Neji! How are you feeling today?"

Neji blinked at her unexpected greeting. Usually Hinata just avoided him whenever she could. "Uh, I'm feeling fine, Hinata-sama."

"Oh, I see..." Hinata activated the Caged Birdie Seal on his forehead. "Well then, how you feeling now, BITCH!" 

"Aaaargh!" Neji was rolling on the ground, holding his head in agony. "Stop it! Please stop!"

"Oh fine, just because you said please." Hinata turned off the seal. "Remember, Neji, you're my bitch. Don't you ever forget that. If you even dare to look at me funny, I'm gonna fry your brain into dried-up little rat turds."

Neji was too shocked to respond, as Hinata walked off... 

Kiba and Shino were both waiting for her outside the Hyuuga estate. And Kiba called out, "Hey Hinata! What's up?"

"Nothing much." Hinata sighed. "Hey, let's practice at Training Area #12 today!"

"No way!" Kiba pointed to himself. "I'm the leader, and I say we practice at Training Area #5!" 

"Oh okay..." Hinata kicked Kiba in the nards. "Whatever you say, leader!"

"Yowwww!" Kiba rolled around, cradling his nuts while Akamaru yapped angrily at the cackling Hinata. "Hinata, what was that!"

Hinata ignored Kiba, mostly because that damned mutt Akamaru was being really annoying. "Shut up, you stupid mutt!"

"Yap yap yap!"

"Shut up!" Hinata reared back a leg and booted the howling Akamaru over some nearby power lines. "God damn, I hate dogs."

The ever quiet Shino looked with concern upon his teammate. "Hinata, are you feeling okay?" 

Hinata answered his question with her own question: "Hey Shino, is that one of your bugs down there on the ground?" 

Shino looked down where she was pointing, and he nodded. "Yes, that is one of my Kikai bugs."

"Oh okay." Hinata smashed a foot down onto the hepless bug. "Well, he's not one of your Kikai bugs anymore, ya hahahaha!"

Shino screamed in anguish as he dropped down to his knees next to the fallen insect. "Nooo, you killed Hubert! Hubert, speak to me! Hubert! It's okay, just hang in there, I'll get you to a hospital!" 

While Shino wailed over his downed comrade, Hinata sighed in satisfaction as she looked up to the sky. "You know what. Fuck this training shit. I think I'm gonna go pay a visit to Naruto-kun." 

A/N: OH MY GOD. WHAT WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN HER AND NARUTO! Stay tuned!


	2. I do think Kakashi is like that

**Chapter 2 **  
After her encounter with Kiba and Shino, Hinata was feeling a little bit better now, almost out of her bad mood. So she started to hum to herself, "I wonder where Naruto-kun is"...

She then saw Naruto's jounin sensei, Kakashi Hatake, walking down the street, head down and reading some book, seemingly unaware of his surroundings. Hinata whispered in that creepy voice like that Darth Vader-sounding rain nin in the Forest of Death: "Luckyyyyyy! Kakashi will know where Naruto-kun is!"

She then called out in her stammering voice, "Hi, Ka-ka-Kakashi-san!"

Without looking up from his book, Kakashi held up a hand in greeting. "Yo. What's up, Hinata?"

"I was just wondering, do you know where Naruto-kun is?"

"Mmm." Kakashi nodded as his eye continued to scan the newest volume of Come-Come Violence volume. "I believe he is training with Jiraiya at the beach."

"At the beach? Why?"

"Jiraiya likes to train Naruto at the beach because of all the scantily clad women there."

"He does? Ooooh, that dirty old man! How dare he corrupt the mind of my dear, dear Naruto-kun!" Sweet Nice Hinata was starting to morph into Big Bad Hinata now. "If I find that old fart encouraging Naruto-kun to ogle women other than me, I am gonna pull out all of that old man's hair! And I'll kill and eat his froggy pets too, I'll be like the French and eat their legs with garlic and butter! Yahaha!" She cackled insanely into the suddenly dark sky as thunder clapped high above. "Yahahaha, I'm so evil!"

"Mmm?" Kakashi had not been listening to her. "What was that? You like to eat butter? That's nice."

"Grr." Big Bad Hinata glowered at the annoying cool and hip Kakashi. "I don't like you! You think you're so cool!"

"Mmm." Kakashi nodded. "That's nice."

"You dirty pervert! I can't believe you read this nasty book in front of everyone! I bet you whack off to porn mags in your spare time!"

"Mmm." Kakashi nodded. "Yes, I do."

"What! Damn it, you're an open pervert?" Hinata stomped her feet, infuriated by her inability to get a rise out of Kakashi. "You smell funny! You have a small penis! Kurenai-sensei thinks you're gay! Gai-sensei thinks you're hot! Tsunade-sama says that she's carrying your child! I HATE YOU!"

"Mmm." Kakashi nodded. "That's nice."

"ARRRRR!" Shaking in uncontrollable fury, Hinata scurried over and started to kick dust onto Kakashi's feet. "I h-h-hate you! Waaaah!"

A sobbing Hinata then ran away, and Kakashi finally looked up from his book, sadly shaking his head. "Poor girl. She definitely has some issues."

Hinata had finally gotten over her crying jag, and as she neared the beach, she was starting to feel bad about herself (big surprise). She really should not have been so mean to Kakashi-san. He was always nice to her whenever they ran into each other, he didn't deserve that sort of treatment...

"Ok," Hinata said to herself. "From now on, I'll be mean only to people who deserve it!" She thought about all the people she had been mean to so far. "Well, that little brat Hanabi deserved it! That snotty jerk Neji deserved it! That bossy butthead Kiba deserved it! But I guess I should apologize to Shino sometime. He doesn't say anything mean to me. Actually, he doesn't say anything at all, but oh well. Maybe I should buy him a new kikai bug at the pet store - "

Hinata was now walking on the beach, but she suddenly stopped and jumped into the bushes to hide, because she recognized a pair of S-ranked criminals sitting on the sand in the distance! "Oh my god," she gasped. "It's those Akatsuki guys, Itachi and Kisame!"

Clad in swimming trunks, Itachi and Kisame were sitting on a pair of beach towels and under a big umbrella. Kisame was sitting up and nervously hugging a surfboard to himself, while Itachi lay on the ground with a hand rolled cigarette in his mouth. Itachi did not have his Sharingan on, but his eyes were red anyway due to all the pot he had smoked.

"Duuuude," Itachi said in his deadened monotone. "This stuff is way good. I, like, can't feel my hands and stuff."

Kisame nodded, clearly agitated and preoccupied with something else. "Hey Itachi, let's go surf! Together!"

"Whaa?" Itachi was snapping his fingers in front of his bleary eyes. "You wanna surf together? Why?"

Kisame nervously laughed, "It'll be fun! Come on, let's go!"

Itachi was repeatedly patting his face with his hands now. "I don't feel like surfing. You go surf by yourself."

Kisame squeaked, "But I don't want to! It's scary surfing by yourself - "

"Hey, you two!" A stern Kurenai, dressed in a red lifeguard bathing suit, walked up to them with her hands on hips. "Uchiha Itachi and Hoshikigi Kisame! What are you two doing here on Konoha Beach?"

"Ahhh." Itachi finally sat up, scratching his head. "I dunno."

"You two are not here to cause trouble like last time, are you?"

"Ahhh, I dunno." Itachi leered at Kurenai's hot body. "You want me to cause some trouble, babe?"

Kurenai sighed, used to the harassment. "No, I don't. Look, just behave yourselves this time around, okay?"

Itachi asked, "If I do something bad, will you spank me?"

"No, I will not spank you - what's this smell?" Kurenai snatched the joint from Itachi's fingers. "Wait a minute, young man! Is this pot?"

Itachi blearily blinked, wondering where his joint had gone. "Heyyy, where did my joint go - heyyyyyy, give it back!" He reached up with a hand. "Heyyyy, babe, give it back!"

"Sorry, buddy, I'm confiscating this." Kurenai then noticed that Kisame was sitting off to the side, still clutching his surfboard as he nervously bit his purple nails. "Hey, what's with you? Are you okay?"

Kisame said in a voice alarmingly like Sweet Nice Hinata's: "I-I-I'm okay. I'm gonna go surf, but I'm just a little scared right now, that's all."

Kurenai blinked as she held the joint far away from Itachi's ponderously pawing hands. "Scared? Scared of what?"

Kisame said, "Sharks. I'm afraid of sharks."

"What?" Kurenai was astonished, to say the least. "You're scared of sharks? No way!"

"I know, I know, it's so stupid, isn't it!" Kisame was openly sobbing now. "No one would ever imagine that a powerful S-ranked criminal and a famous Akatsuki member like me could ever be scared of a shark, right?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, you do look like a - "

Kisame screamed, "It's the eyes! Oh, the eyes! Their eyes are so tiny and round and inhuman! And their teeth! Their pointy sharp killer teeth! So frightening!"

Kurenai blinked at Kisame and his inhuman round eyes and his pointy sharp teeth. "Um, but hold on, what about you - "

"You've watched the movie Jaws, right?"

"Of course."

"Then you know how scary sharks are! Oh god, when I saw Jaws, I then realized that sharks are the coldest merciless killing machines, built only to hunt and kill! Did you know that even their skin can cut flesh? It scrapes at you, paring your tissue down to the bone! Oh lord, I tell you, sharks are heartless cruel killers, all of them! I hope I never see one ever!"

"Oh, whatever." Kurenai shook her head. "But let me tell one thing. There are no sharks in these waters."

Kisame looked up in hope. "Really? No sharks?"

"There hasn't been a shark sighting in years."

"Oh! Okay then!" Kisame jumped up from the sand with his surfboard in hand. "In that case, surf's up, dude!"

"That's the spirit! Go find a wave to ride on!" Kurenai then grabbed another joint which Itachi had just put to his mouth. "Oh no you don't!"

Itachi whined, "Awww, come on! I got a prescription for this stuff, I swear!"

"Oh really? Let me see it, then."

"Ah... uh... I left it at home."

While Itachi tried to convince Kurenai that his pot stash was legal, Sweet Nice Hinata was saying to herself from the bushes, "Poor Kisame-san! He's so scared of sharks! I really hope he gets over his fear - wait a minute! Naruto-kun told me that Kisame-san once tried to chop off his leg! Kisame-san has been MEAN to Naruto-kun!"

Hinata was now Big Bad Hinata. And she growled, "Ahahahaha, so Kisame is afraid of sharks, is he?"


	3. NARUTO!

**Chapter 3 **  
Ten minutes later, a big crowd of people was standing in a circle around Kurenai and a half-drowned Kisame. Kurenai was busy trying to resuscitate the shark dude, as she called out, "What happened? Did anyone see what happened?"

Itachi was standing unsteadily on his feet as he said, "Well, uh, you see, babe, Kisame was, like, swimming out to catch a wave and stuff to surf on, you know, and then he, like, uh, started screaming something about sharks and stuff."

"Sharks?" Kurenai gasped. "He saw a shark out there?"

"I guess so. He was, like, screaming stuff like 'shark shark, ahhh, help me, I'm going to die, ahhhhh!' And he started to thrash around like this," Itachi slowly waved his arms around. "And he was never a good swimmer in the first place, either. Whenever we Akatsuki guys did our swimming drills, he always placed dead last -"

"Hee, hee, hee!" Hinata jumped into the circle now, and she started to kick sand onto Kisame's face. "Take that, you mean Akatsuki guy! Take that! And that! And that!"

Kurenai gasped. "Hinata! What are you doing?"

"This guy had it coming, Kurenai sensei! He was so mean to Naruto-kun; he tried to chop off Naruto's leg!"

Kurenai then noticed that Hinata had some scuba equipment and a big rubber dorsal fin underneath her arm. "Hinata! Don't tell me you were posing as a shark just to scare this man half to death! He isn't even breathing right now!"

Hinata cackled, "Yes, it was me! And I don't care if he dies! You hear me; I'm sick and tired of being nice! I was bad, I was bad, I was bad! Ahahahaha -"

"BANZAI!" Jiraiya jumped into the circle now, and he leered at the kuniochi lifeguard. "Hello, my dear Kurenai! Are you in need of assistance?"

"Oh." Kurenai rolled her eyes. "Hi, Jiraiya-san. No, I don't need any help."

"Oh, are you sure?" Jiraiya flexed his muscles. "I am Jiraiya, the dashingly handsome and legendary Frog Hermit AND an expert at first aid medical procedures!"

Naruto suddenly barged into the scene, planting a foot into Jiraiya's face. "Shut up, Jiraiya sensei! Stop bothering Kurenai-san!"  
Jiraiya shouted, "Naruto, you just don't understand what it takes to be a man, do you? When you see a hot woman, you have to announce your presence and ogle her! Like this!" Jiraiya's eyes bugged out at Kurenai's bosoms. "Oooh hoo hoo hoo! Big guns!"

Kurenai rolled her eyes again. "My goodness."

Naruto shouted, "Jiraiya-sensei, you're gross!"

"Oh, come on, Naruto!" Jiraiya gestured to Kurenai's rack. "Don't tell me that you don't find this to be such a wondrous sight!"

Naruto turned beet red as he turned to look at Kurenai's twin mountains. "Well, I... you know, I'm not interested in such things yet... I think..." He swallowed hard. "Well, I guess it isn't so bad -"

A bleated wail from Hinata. "Naruto-kun!"

"Waaaah!" Naruto fell over when he realized that Hinata was practically standing right next to him. "Hinata! What are you doing here?"

"NARUTO-KUN!" Hinata was crying openly now. "You dirty, dirty boy, I can't believe you were checking out my teacher, of all people!"

Naruto stammered, "Hinata, wait, I couldn't help it, they're so big - no, wait! That's not what I meant to say -"

"SHUT UP!" Hinata screamed as she threw her scuba gear off and they landed on Jiraiya's head. "I hate you! You corrupted my dear Naruto-kun!"

"Ow," Jiraiya rubbed his head. "That kinda hurt."

Hinata hurled her rubber dorsal fin off and whacked Kurenai's head. "And I hate you, Kurenai sensei! How dare you have bigger boobs than I do?"

Kurenai blinked. "Wait, Hinata! You don't understand, I HAVE to wear a bathing suit, that's what lifeguards wear -"

"I don't care! I hate all of you! Except for you, Naruto-kun. I'm just angry at you right now, that's all."

Kurenai called out to Hinata, but the Hyuuga girl did not listen as she ran away. She accidentally ran into Itachi, and she shouted, "Out of my way!" as she shoved the stoned guy to the ground.

"Heyyyyyyy." Itachi was surprised to find himself sitting on the ground, all of a sudden. "Dude, what's her problem?"

A madly crying Hinata stomped down the sidewalk, swearing revenge on that nasty old man Jiraiya. She wasn't really mad at Kurenai sensei; after all, it wasn't Kurenai's fault that her boobs were so big. And it certainly wasn't Naruto-kun's fault; Naruto-kun was the sweetest boy ever!

But still, Hinata felt lousy, and she wanted to feel better about herself. As she stomped along her way, she was now saying to herself, "I'll show everyone that I can be a sexy woman, just like Kurenai sensei! I swear, the FIRST boy that I meet on this sidewalk, I will kiss him, ask him out on a date, and then I will seduce him! Yeah, that's what I will do! I'll show everyone that I can be as sexy as anyone -"

"Hey Hinata, what's up?"

"Huh?" Hinata looked up to see that fat ugly guy Akimichi Choji standing in front of her with a can of Pringles in his hands. "Choji?"

"Hey Hinata, you okay? You look like you've been crying."

"Ah, I'm okay, Choji, really, I am!" Hinata ran away before he could say another word. "Bye, bye!"

Choji blinked as he stuffed another Pringle into his mouth. "Huh?"

Hinata hurried along, thinking to herself, "Okay, okay, I changed my mind, I swear, the SECOND boy that I meet on this sidewalk, I will kiss him, ask him out on a date, and then I will seduce him! Yeah, that's what I will do!"

A/N: Uhgg I don't know what do for the next chapter. I hope somebody comes up with and idea cuz I have a bad case of mind block.


	4. Special traning!

A/N: I got a few ideas. Let's see what one I used...

**Chapter 4**

Hinata continued to trudge down the street, mumbling to herself. Not paying attention to where she walked due to infuriating anger she bummed into Garra. He glared at her. And she just stood there deciding what to do. 'Yes? No? Yes...? NO!'

"Get out of my way! Go play in the sand or something ya freak!" she yelled and pushed him a side. Garra shook his head and continued to walk to the beach where he took Hinata's advice and made himself a sand castle. (A/N: Crazy everyone? Yes.)

Hinata continued to walk, thinking of a plan to kill Jiraya. With her arms crossed, looking at the ground, she bumbled into Kakashi who also wasn't paying attention because he was extremely busy with the dirtiest part of the whole Come-Come Series.

"Nani?" said Kakashi not even attempting to look up from his beloved book.

"NOO!"

"Oh, hello Hinata? Did you find Naruto yet?" He inquired. He seemed to have some large back slung on his back. Most likely filled to the brim with his books.

"Yes! And do you know what he was doing!"

"No."

"Ogling at _MY _sensei's boobs!"

"Sounds like fun."

"NO!"

"Yes." Hinata tried to calm herself down. She wasn't supposed to be mean to him anymore. (A/N: If it were me I would get so irritated...)

"Kakashi, why did you let Jiraya teach him? Poor Naruto is too young"

"Ok" Hinata glared at him.

"Kakashi? You know what I heard?"

"No, not really."

"I heard that Icha-Icha Paradise came out with a video game."

"Really?" He looked up from his book, now interested in their unexciting conversation.

"OH, YES! In that store over there called 'You Break It, You Buy'."

"Yippee!" Kakashi skipped down the street walking into the store. A lot of things can be heard falling down and shattering.

'Maybe that was too harsh? No! I'm evil! And I ALWAYS WILL!' Hinata looked over to the other side of the street seeing Sasuke and Sakura trailing along.

"Sasuke, look there's the beach! Let's go swimming!"

"No."

"How about... we go home?"

"No."

"Then-"

"No, Sakura, leave me alone!"

"But-"

"No, Sakura."

'Sasuke? He's mean to Sakura! But what could I do...? BINGO!'

"HEY! YOU ARROGANT BASTARD!" Sasuke looked over to Hinata.

"Don't tell me another damn fan-girl?"

"You wish! Look into my eyes... you are getting sleepy... listen to my evil voice... when I snap my fingers you will passionately kiss Sakura and become her boyfriend... One... Two..." Hinata snapped her fingers and Sasuke turned around and did as she said. "BWHAHAHAHA!"

Hours later...

Hinata stared in amazement as Sasuke and Sakura finally stopped the kiss.

'How the heck did they breathe?' Hinata's jaw was dropped so far scientists would even think that that was too far for even an anime character. "Whatever... I've got bigger and better thing to do..." She continued to walk. She reached the Ichiraku Noodle bar. Naruto (Big surprise) and Jiraya were sitting eating their ramen.

"Hi Naruto-kun!" Hinata said sitting down. She looked over at Jiraya. "Hello, Jiraya."

"Hi!" the two said in unison.

"Naruto-kun, how about after this we go home?"

"Uh... well... I've got training and..."

"Wait! Of course he will!" Jiraya quickly said. The two huddled up. "Naruto this is a golden opportunity! Normally, I have to pay for this!"

"What?"

"Just tell her that she can come over to your house! Training is cancelled because this is very important fun!"

"So, you're saying that this is a special kind of training?"

"Uhh... ya, lets go with that."

"OK!" Naruto looked over at Hinata. "You can come over to my house!"

A/N: What kind of training is Jiraya talking about? Stay tuned!


	5. Naruto is obsessed

A/N: Sorry for long update. Had to do school stuff.

**Chapter 5**

Hinata and Naruto toddled off after Naruto was done with his 7,046, 385, 384 bowl of ramen.

"They grow up so fast." Jiraya said wiping a tear from his eye. "OHH! I need to find Kakashi and Iruka!"

"HE"S WHAT WITH WHOM! Jiraya! What have you done!" Iruka being a father to Naruto was freaking out at the news. "You spoiled his mind! I'm sorry Naruto I have failed you." Iruka got down on his knees and stated to weep.

"Don't freak out, Iruka, I'm sure Naruto is still a virgin." said Kakashi kneeling down to Iruka's level.

"Hun..." Jiraya spotted a few women that passed by.

Hinata walked into Naruto's small apartment thing...whatever you want to call it. In the corner was a large sock pile of Naruto's ramen. On the walls were plenty of posters with different kinds of ramen on them. His table looked like a giant bowl with some glass on top of it. Come to think of it all of his furniture looked like ramen bowls. They didn't look all that comfy as well. But Naruto assured Hinata that they were extremely comfortable.

"Naruto... you really like ramen don't you?" Hinata asked trying to get comfortable on his couch. 'He really needs to redecorate.' She thought.

"Yes! Don't you! The smell is just so, so... GOOD! You can cook can't you?"

'Cooking? I can't cook...! I have two left feet!' No she didn't really think that. But I do that a lot in my fan-fics.

"Yes." Naruto was rummaging though a large bag.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Naruto asked Hinata pulling out: CURSE OF THE RAMEN EATING ZOMBIES, TWO! (A/N: lol) "It's my favorite movie."

"Uhh...? Yes...?"

"GREAT!" Naruto pooped the DVD in the ramen shaped player.

"Well, Iruka, what do you want to do about this?" said Kakashi turning the page in his loved book.

"Umm... can we go to his house and stop this madness?" Iruka replied wiping another tear.

"Of course we could! Jiraya lets go."

"But I almost got them!" Jiraya was flirting with more women.

"No! Now come!" Jiraya whimpered like a puppy and walked over to Kakashi's direction.

'Any more of this cheap movie and I will die of boredom.' Hinata thought.

"Hey, Naruto?"

"Hmn?" Naruto was stuffing Kimichi flavored popcorn ramen in his mouth.

"You know what would be fun?"

"Playing with my ramen action figures?"

"... No." Hinata whispered something in Naruto's ear.

"Huh! But...! I...! Ramen..."

"...Naruto... are you still a virgin...?

"...Uhmm... well... Umm... Not... really... n...no..."

"Come on were almost there!" Iruka said. The only thing that kept them from leaving was a Come-Come Book Store.

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kakashi walked in the store.

A/N: I am so sorry for the short chapter but I have things to do.


	6. All of Hell Comes

A/n: Damn it. I am just about sucked dry from ideas. So when your done review mw up a great idea my fans. I want to give a quick hello to Nemo, queen of Spoons. And thanks you all who review! I'm so happy with my results.

**Chapter 6**

"COME ON KAKASHI WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Iruka screeched pulling Kakashi's vest thing.

"BUT! I NEED THAT VOLUME!"

"You have seven of that one." Jiraya said leaning on a telephone pole.

"So what?"

"I have the new edition right here." Iruka said pulling out the book.

"GIVE ME THAT!" Kakashi attacked Iruka like a wild squirrel. Iruka made it out alive with an extremely happy squirrelish Kakashi. "The rightful owner has been restored." Some light was shining on Kakashi even though it was night. And a school choir was herd singing as he turned to the next page. Then all the sudden Sakura and Sasuke ware walking... wait no skipping down the street, grasping hand... in hand. Then... all of hell broke loose.

"It's the end of the world!" Jiraya yelled looking at the sky that seemed to get billons of clouds. And there was a fog all around the village that seemed to be a reddish color.

"It's not possible. Sakura and Sasuke? Well this turned out to be a nice dream... I hope..." Iruka said. Kakashi pinched Iruka. "I... I'm not DREAMING!"

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I don't think I will go into details of what Naruto and Hinata are doing cuz I would have to up the rating to M and I don't write lemons. But I can say that the dominant one right now is Hinata. I do feel a little bad just leaving you here with nothing so you get a goodie bag. And I can tell you the hotdog has not landed yet (wink, wink) Naruto is most defiantly not good at this.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTXXXXXXXXXXXXEWTYFUKYGUYRREYTYTTWS$#&FCDTEg

Currently Jiraya, Kakashi, and Iruka were fighting demons. If this was Inu Yasha, Jiraya would be Miroku, ummm... Kakashi... is part Miroku... part Inu Yasha, and Iruka can be wimpy and be Kagome. Sasuke and Sakura were having a picnic on top if the hill starring into each other eyes. It wasn't really there fault. It was Hinata's for hypnotizing Sasuke into a freak.

Iruka seemed to have a bow and arrow that was all shiny. "Hey! Why do I have to be wimpy! I want to be a guy!"

"Shut up! If you don't like the results... GO MAKE YOUR OWN FAN-FIC!" I yelled then some lighting hit Iruka and he died.

"HORA! The wicked witch is killed!" Yelled some short guy. Then a hole bunch joined in. "DING DONG!-"

"No wizard of OZ crap." Kakashi said stabbing his lighting blade into the last of the extremely large demons. Jiraya finished the small ones off.

"Ok we go onward to Naruto place!" They said in unison. Then stampede of evil chickens from hell came across their path.

"Crap. The suns coming up." Jiraiya said.

A/N: I have to get ready! GET MAD AT ME! GET ANGRY AT ME AND SAY IT IN A REVIEW!


	7. KFP is?

A/N: Long update, I know...

Kakashi and Jiraya made it passed the evil chickens from hell and are now ringing the door bell and bashing on the door.

"The doors locked! Kick it in!" said the now enering stage left Konohamaru.

"Check this shit out mofo!" said Kakashi.

"Oh no, this doors mine!" Jiraya said. Too late Kakashi opened (Go Kakashi!) Jiraya burst through the door holding a personalize gift basket just made for Naruto, a "congradulations, you dumb ass!"card, and a fat ballon. Kakashi had a camera that he held with good skill.

Naruto was curlled up in the corner, before a live audience, singing:

_Ramen tales, ramen tales..._

_It's almost time for ramen tales..._

_Come along take my hand..._

_Let's all go to ramen land!_

"Naruto...? What the fuck happened?"

"Hinata... she's... she's mean...! But hot..."

"Naruto, where did she go?" Jiraya asked the idiotic blondie. He just shrugged.

"Here, try calling her..." Naruto said handing Kakashi his ramen looking phone.

Phone: Ummm... this is... umm... Hinata... ummm... if... your Naruto, then... ummm... you can leave a message... umm... if your not... um, you can leave a message, too... I guesss... umm... welll... just leve me a message... ummm... bye...?

'I guessing she didn't shange her phone yet...' Kakashi considered.

"Well, lets go after her then! For alll we know, she might be becoming an evil didctator! Or, hiring the evilo planet Bacon to kill us! Or-"

"Jiraya, shut up! Come on Naruto, go put clothes on!" Kakashi said.

"But I'm hungry!" He wined.

"Fine will pick up some K.F.P.!"

"K.F.P.? Perevert Hermit? Whats that?"

"Kentucky Fried Porn."

"Wh- ... cont me in!"

pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppoooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Somewhwere the Evil Hinata puts windex in Neji's AXE body spray...


	8. Windex

A/N: As you noticed (or may not have, but... oh well...) I changed the rating to M. Why? Slightly because of this chapter. Enjoy Damn it!

Neji just got out of the shower. (He was screaming for bloody murder because he did get soap in his silver eyes, but that's not what I'm here to type about.) He reached for the body spray.

Meanwhile...

Hinata sat under a tree in a park seeming her next plan.

"Mmm..." Hinata ignored whatever and whoever that came from.

"Aa..." shifting was now being herd from the tree's (Hinata was sitting in tree) neighbor, bush. Not the President Bush the plant bush.

"Hn..." Hinata rolled her violet eyes and jumped down. She observed the bush's nasty sounds.

"Hey! It's Itachi!" She yelled. Sasuke jumped out from the bushes with a kuni, sharingan activated, and absolutely no clothes. A few passing fan-girls that were on vacation and took some pictures.

At K.F.P...

"Naruto, hurry and get what you want!" Kakashi was pissed.

"But their isn't anything I want at this bar! Porn on a stick, a whole lot a whore, and Porn pasta? Who the hell servers porn as food!"

"Well, Naruto, you have to come to think of the necessities of men!" said Jiraya, currently 'having fun' with his order.

"What...?"

"It's real simple. The there things most important is, money, porn, and sex."

"..."

"Now, Naruto, he is right." Said Iruka.

"I thought you were dead." Naruto said with disappointment. Garra stud up and shot Iruka, about 200 times.

"Ahem. Well, are there any like appetizers or something?"

& +$)(#&$&&&&&)($!($&R$&&&$&)$($&($&$&&&)&

"Neji...? Why do you smell like Windex?" Ten-Ten asked.

"?"

Flashback...

"_Remember, Neji... you're my bitch."_

End

"Da' fuck!"

"NEJI?"

"Oh... sorry..."

A/N: Bye everybody! I need to do home work and my dog, taco, is being a jerk.


	9. Hinata, the Loved

A/n: SUNDAY IS MY BIRHTDAY! SO AFTER READING PLESE REVIEW FOR A BIRTHDAY GIFT!

FLUFF ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

On to the story...

Naruto walked out of KFP with a very big grin as if he did something he was quiet proud of. Hinata just seemed to be walking by, seeing him with his little grin made her think about past things...

"Hina-chan!" Naruto called out running towards the once kind, polite, good, bashful, and fastidious girl. She just stood there, seemingly looking at nothing... "Hinata-chan...? Are you feeling okay?"

'Naruto is always so courteous...' yet another thought echoed though her mind. She looked at Naruto. He had an awfully bothered look on his face. She smiled and nodded.

"Ya, I'm feeling perfectly all right Naru-kun." Naruto's confused look was priceless and they started walking down the sidewalk.

"You know Hinata..." Naruto started "You've been acting... umm... odd. But you seem fine now." Hinata stared up at the sky.

"...yes, your right..." Hinata said. 'Naru...to... this isn't me...' For absolutely no reason Naruto slightly blushed and looked down at his feet. Hinata smiled.

"Hinata..." Her gaze was taken from the skies to Naruto.

"Nani?"

"You know I love you, don't you?" Hinata stopped walking. Standing there, unmoving. Blushing extremely Naruto dashed over.

"Hin... ata?" She smiled blissfully and hugged him tight.

"N-Naruto-k-kun... me too..."

Meanwhile...

Iruka comes back from the dead all zombieish and stuff...

_Ichiraku Noodle Corner_

That's right_ Ichiraku Noodle Corner _is now in Hintatas' Gone Wild.

Today's ramen:

Guess what show this is from in a review... ROLL THE CLIP!

-"Then you will turn into what you are deep down inside!"

-"Deep down inside I'm baloney? That's just dumb."

-"Dumb like a moose, Dib! Dumb like a moose!"

A/N: O.O what is happing? Review for my birthday and find out!


	10. 3

Quick note: everyone please check out my new fanfic: Naruto's side: Sakura's death. I think that's the tittle annyyyyyways tomorrow I will update this fan-fic sop stay beautiful

-Cow for all 3

Naruto8ramen


	11. Fast Chappie i sorry

A/n: Sorry it took so long people I had an orchestra concert and a party and tons of home work T.T

Lets get this over with shall we?

"Hurry up, Sasuke! Iruka's coming!" Naruto said. They were in some theme park called Gay Land. Sasuke had some strange side effect from Hinata hypnotizing him into oblivion.

"I'm sexy!" Sasuke said happily.

"Baka! Hurry!" Sasuke held on to a pole. Naruto stated lugging on Sasuke's shorts. For some out of the ordinary reason Shino was there passing by eating a gay corn dog. He choose to sit on a gay bench and sit gayfully to watch the two.

"The wonderful thing about Sasuke, cuz Sasuke's a wonderful thing! His hair is made of cute. His butt is sexy! I'm sexy, sexy, freaking cute, fun, fuN, fUN, FUN, FUN!"

RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!! (Rip)

Meanwhile...

"RUN! THE ZOBIE IS AFTER MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ME!" Neji said running into Gay Land with Guy and Rock Lee.

"Gasp! Lee don't look." Gay covered Lee's eyes.

"What Guy sensei! Anything it is, I can take it!"

"No Lee, this is between a emo kid and a blonde with ADD."

"I see... ohh, I seee!"

End (no Ichiraku Noodle bar today)


End file.
